Over the past few days social media has exploded with pictures of kids graduating from public school. Many of these posts are friends of mine and it’s crazy to think that Tyler will be doing that in two years.
A common theme is everyone asking ‘where did the time go?’
It got me thinking. Where the hell has the time gone? Planning a bar mitzvah next year and my 10 year old asking me what public hair is shows that time moving way too quickly
Time certainly flies by.
It’s priceless and irreplaceable.
And I have given up almost half of my life. To this illness.
When I’m 80 will I remember the day we took the kids to the pumpkin patch? No. I will remember being too sick to get out of bed because I swallowed hundreds of laxatives. It pains me. It hurts my heart. I’m upset, angry and so utterly pissed off.
I want to be remembered for all of the good I have to offer. I don’t want to look back and regret that I wouldn’t get an ice cream cone when I took my kids to Baskin Robbins because it had way too many calories. When I’m 80 that won’t matter. And it shouldn’t matter now. What matters is living your life. Don’t let your life pass you by.
You have to know that your life is precious and valuable. Do not give it up to an Eating Disorder.
I don’t want to look back and have so many regrets that they saw outnumber the great memories I have lived and the ones waiting to be created.
When I get tempted. When the urge strikes and I want to engage with my Eating Disorder I remind myself of two things.
1. My life is worth living. I cannot let ED live it for me. If I do, I will certainly look back and regret the path I walked along.
2. The disease will kill me. My family and friends will bury me at 44 years old.
If I eat an extra 500 calories today who the fuck cares.
I want my memories to be fantastic, amazing and incredible. Not the image of me lying on the washroom floor in agonizing pain.
My yearbook quote in high school sums it up perfectly – it’s by Van Halen.
Nothing is more expensive than regret.
Dont let your life just happen. Live your life. You only get to do this once.