When I finally had enough

I was going to do some grocery shopping at Concord.

A young couple was leaving the store while I was walking in.  I saw the girl look at my legs (I was wearing shorts).  I saw her lean over and whisper something to her boyfriend.  When we passed each other they gave me a major stare down.  I turned around and they did the same.  As our eyes met, I knew what they said.  I wasn’t imaging it.  I’ve seen it before.  I’m not a dummy.

I was sick of it.

“Do you have something to say to me?”

They were shocked.  Very uncomfortable.  They didn’t say anything.

My legs are small.  I get it.  My legs don’t suit the rest of my body.  I get it.  My  legs are too thin for a 43 year old women.  TRUST ME, I FUCKING GET IT.

But you don’t know my story.  You don’t know why I look how I look.

You don’t know why anyone looks how they look.

My legs are small because I have spent 20+ years fighting a mental illness.

If you saw someone in a wheelchair, would you stop and stare at them?  If you saw someone walking around with an oxygen tank attached to them would you stop and stare at them?  If you saw someone with a large lump on their neck would you stop and stare at them?  If you saw someone who didn’t have any hair would you stop and stare at them?

I hope your answer to all of the above is no.  You  don’t know their story.  You don’t know what someone went through to get to where they are.  Don’t stare.  Don’t laugh.  Don’t judge.

I would say try to put yourself in their shoes, but I would never want someone else to go through what I have.  Just trust me.  People struggle every day with physical and mental challenges, so don’t think that you can possibly understand their circumstances.

Next time.  Don’t stare.  And I’m sure your mother always told you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

To that couple – what you did hurt.  Embarrassed me.  I know that wasn’t your intention, but again I have been to hell and back so don’t think that my skinny legs are simply because I don’t eat.

There is always more to the story than just the cover.


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