It’s amazing how we put so much efort into the old instead of focussing on the new.
I was talking to Rob tonight and told him that giving up is easy. It’s hard to fight my demons every day. But I know I must.
As I recover, I give ED so much attention while my life passes me by. That is where I need to focus my energy. On the life I deserve to live.
I take my kids out for ice cream often. I never have. And why the fuck not? In 19 years it won’t matter that I had 400 calories worth of ice cream. I won’t remember that. It won’t have made my life any better missing out on that treat.
What I wil remember is not having ice cream. Those are not the memories I want to have.
That is why I must focus my energy on doing things that will create happy memories for me. Have that ice cream. Put my work into those kinds of moments instead of giving it all to ED