It’s weird. When you listen to and pay attention to your body it reacts and responds in interesting ways.
Last night, after dinner I was cleaning up and felt a bit anxious. I don’t know why and was able to even question myself and stop to think that there was no reason for it. All of a sudden my body got hit with the weirdest sensation of chills. I was freezing. I went and put a sweatshirt on and continued to clean up from dinner. But I was still sooooooooooo cold. I put on my jacket too.
I realized I wasn’t really “cold”. It was a reaction to me being anxious. Anxious because I felt bloated after dinner. It’s been quite some time since I have taken laxatives so as you can imagine, my body is changing and reacts appropriately when I eat. AKA: Being full.
I have probably had this reaction a zillion times before but never paid much attention to it or gave it a second thought. But that’s exactly what it was. My body trying to tell my mind something.
Two good things came out of this situation.
- I was able to recognize this secret conversation taking place between my body and my mind. I see how my mind can easily be influenced and my body reacts when my mind is in a state of confusion or uncertainty. Knowing this is great because I am able to make proper decisions and listen to myself without being sucked into ED’s evil grips.
- As bloated and as full as I felt, I did nothing about it. NO, wait. Yes I did. I did something, I cleaned up and took the boys to the park. So what I did do was not let it effect me. Not let it dictate that the next 48 hours would be endured with painful stomach cramps and a sleepless night on the washroom floor. Instead, me and the boys went to the park.
And funny enough, I have noticed these chills before but didn’t pay much attention to them. My family always thought it was strange that I would be wearing a sweatshirt and a robe or jacket in the house while getting dinner ready or cleaning up. I too thought it was weird – maybe I was coming down with something. But now I know. It was ED all along trying to get me to do something I didn’t want to do.
So this time. I didn’t.