Chills

It’s weird.   When you listen to and pay attention to your body it reacts and responds in interesting ways.

Last night, after dinner I was cleaning up and felt a bit anxious.  I don’t know why and was able to even question myself and stop to think that there was no reason for it.  All of a sudden my body got hit with the weirdest sensation of chills.  I was freezing.  I went and put a sweatshirt on and continued to clean up from dinner.  But I was still sooooooooooo cold.  I put on my jacket too.

I realized I wasn’t really “cold”.  It was a reaction to me being anxious.  Anxious because I felt bloated after dinner.  It’s been quite some time since I have taken laxatives so as you can imagine, my body is changing and reacts appropriately when I eat.  AKA: Being full.

I have probably had this reaction a zillion times before but never paid much attention to it or gave it a second thought.  But that’s exactly what it was.  My body trying to tell my mind something.

Two good things came out of this situation.

  1. I was able to recognize this secret conversation taking place between my body and my mind.  I see how my mind can easily be influenced and my body reacts when my mind is in a state of confusion or uncertainty.  Knowing this is great because I am able to make proper decisions and listen to myself without being sucked into ED’s evil grips.
  2. As bloated and as full as I felt, I did nothing about it.  NO, wait.  Yes I did.  I did something,  I cleaned up and took the boys to the park.  So what I did do was not let it effect me.  Not let it dictate that the next 48 hours would be endured with painful stomach cramps and a sleepless night on the washroom floor.  Instead, me and the boys went to the park.

 

And funny enough, I have noticed these chills before but didn’t pay much attention to them.  My family always thought it was strange that I would be wearing a sweatshirt and a robe or jacket in the house while getting dinner ready or cleaning up.  I too thought it was weird – maybe I was coming down with something.  But now I know.  It was ED all along trying to get me to do something I didn’t want to do.

So this time.  I didn’t.

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