Yes I should.
My doctor said it was okay.
The alternative is not a better solution.
Look, I’m not the one at the gym who is sweating profusely, working out at warp speed to burn calories. I never have been and I never will. I go, honestly because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel like I am actually taking care of my body.
I’m sure people look at me and wonder why the fuck am I working out.
My doctor has okayed it and she said it will benefit my heart, my muscles and my bones – as long as I do it responsibly and take in extra calories on those days. Which I do.
I go to Energy Fitbox. I go two to three times a week. The classes are 45 minutes in length. I take breaks and often I leave early. I feel amazing when I’m there and great when I leave. I feel like I’m finally doing something good for my body instead of beating the living shit out of it.
Many of my friends (out of love and concern) have voiced their opinion about how they don’t like that I work out. But trust me when I say that I do it for health, body and mind reasons. I need to keep my muscles moving. I need to keep my bones strong. As my body begins to change I want it to be in a way that makes me “somewhat” comfortable. Most importantly I need my mind to tell ED that I will take care of myself and he will not be allowed to take control of that.
When I’m there punching the “bob” I often imagine that bob is my Eating Disorder. That is when I get aggressive. That is when I work out a bit harder. That is when I punch as hard as I can. But that’s fair – no?
So, thank you for your concern. Thank you for your love. Thank you for always caring about my well-being. But working out for me is not a bad thing. I do it with the right intentions and as always, make sure that my doctor knows exactly what’s going on so I’m monitored appropriately.
If you see me working out a bit harder than I should, just know that I’m really pissed off at ED and taking it out on those orange bobs.