I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE

Wait, yes I do.

Sometimes I have thought to myself – Lisa, you don’t have a choice.  You have to get better.

But, I do have a choice.

  1.  Give up.  Let the demons win.
  2. Fight my ass off.

So I choose to fight.  And I choose to live.  I choose recovery.  I choose to enjoy every single day of my life.  I do not choose to give up.  I do not choose to let ED win.  I do not choose death.  Because that is what will happen if I don’t choose to fight.  My life isn’t finished. I have so much more to accomplish.  So much more love to give.  So many more hugs and kisses to have.  So much to see.  So much to hear.  So much.

Last night I asked Tyler if he wanted to meet up in our dreams.  We had a date at 4pm at Yoghurtys.

This morning, I asked if he met me there.  He said he was late.  He met me at 5:30pm and was attacked by a large Pizza from the restaurant next door so he had to run into Yoghurty’s and get frozen yoghurt so he could fight off this massive Za.  Adam and Cooper thought it was hysterical and Tyler told the story with the biggest smile on his face.

Such a simple moment in time that likely they won’t remember (or maybe they will), but not the way I will.  They were happy, joyful, engaged and thought it was a funny thing I asked Tyler to do.

That’s fighting to live.  That’s not letting the demons win.

So ED – I do have a choice.  And guess what?  You ain’t gonna win this fight.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s