When I began writing this blog, my intention was to keep people informed. I know many of you wanted to know what was going on and it was often difficult to keep in touch on a daily basis. So, I found this as a great outlet to give you updates, information and general knowledge of my Eating Disorder. My recovery. My treatment. My life.
What I have found throughout this journey is a community of people. What I have found is that I am NOT alone. What I have found is that Eating Disorders are everywhere. They come in all different shapes, sizes and forms. So many people (some that I know well, some that I know in passing and some complete strangers have opened up to me about their personal struggles). Many of you have said things like “I know it’s not as severe as what you are going through or as difficult but….”
Let me tell you something. If you are going through something it is severe. It is difficult and it is your personal hell. You can never measure your challenges to anyone else’s. If you are going through a hard time, it’s your hard time.
The struggles I have heard about deal with binging, purging, restricting, laxative abuse, chewing and spitting and the most common one that presents itself in most cases is the emotional part. That is certainly the most difficult and the one that leads to all of the physical behaviours.
Since when have we given ourselves permission to treat ourselves so badly? Why? Why would we do these awful, horrible things to our body and than mentally beat ourselves up over how much we dislike ourselves?
I once saw a poster and it said something along the lines of:
WOULD YOU TREAT YOUR BEST FRIEND THE WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF?
Hell no!! What kind of person would ever make a best friend feel so bad about themselves? What kind of person wouldn’t encourage, motivate and congratulate someone for all of the wonderful success in their life.
Certainly we all have more amazing, terrific things going on in our lives. Health, family and friends. Those are what matter and those things far outweigh feeling bad about eating a stupid piece of chocolate cake at a birthday party. So why do we allow that to be the focus of our day? Why not look at the wonderful weekend you had driving your kids to programs, meeting up with friends, going to events and just living? That is what matters.
We all have shtick. We will always have shtick.
But what matters is the important stuff happening around the shtick. That’s what matters. That is what we need to focus on.
I am always here, will continue to be here to talk, to listen and to lend any advice I can as I manoeuver my way through recovery. I don’t have the answers. But what I have is advice and experience and it’s as honest as anything.
Therapists are a wonderful tool, but speaking to people who have gone through/are going through something (I have found) is the best support you can receive.
So, live through the shtick, but live the other stuff and enjoy it.