I love watching YouTube videos. I follow several people. Some struggling with an Eating Disorder, some in recovery and some fitness gurus who went through the disorder and came out the other side only to discover their love for health and well-being. I admire their hard work, determination and diligence in going to the gym and eating well on a daily basis.
But there are some of them that focus their entire day on counting, weighing and measuring their food. Don’t get me wrong – like I said I admire them but for me it’s not something I could ever do. It’s not something I would ever want to do. For me recovery means eating. Eating what I want, when I want and how much I want. And stopping when I’ve had enough. That is my goal. At several stops along my journey I did entertain the idea of looking into many of these systems- counting calories and macros, but for me personally I know that it won’t mean recovery – it will mean an extended Eating Disorder.
The old Lisa use to do just that. Eat. When I was hungry I ate. When I was full I stopped. I ate the quantity that satiated me and had the treats I wanted when I wanted. Yumm. Jube Jubes. It was an “on demand” type of mentality. And it did work. Clearly it worked, because I did live and eat “normally” for quite some time.
The one person I thought that would be my magic cure is amazing. She’s devoted her whole self to working out and being an inspiration to others. It’s great. But, it’s just not for me. And it’s not for everyone.
Along your recovery journey you need to find what will work for you. Maybe it is counting. Maybe it’s not counting. Maybe it’s journaling what you eat. Maybe it’s finding a friend to talk to. Maybe it’s working with a dietician. Maybe it’s just eating when you are hungry. You need to find what works for you, because Eating Disorder recovery is not a one size fits all regime. Everyone has different needs. You have to find yours.