Am I letting him win?

I haven’t acted on it but I’m allowing him into my head. Allowing him to confuse me. Anger me. Upset me. Sadden me. Take over my mind. I suppose this is part of the process. The fight. I have to show the strength I have by not allowing him to win.  Haging these moments when I want to throw in the towel because it seems like the easier option is not an option. That’s taking the easy way out. Not taking the so called easy way ou will end up destroying me. Taking everything I have and kI’ll me.

So I fight. I cry. I remind myself what I’m fighting for. Get dressed. Get out and continue living.

I made my kids french toast pancakes today.  We sat together and had a great breakfast.  They don’t know the battle going on in my head and I never want them to see it.  I want them to see me happy, smiling and living in the moment.

I need to make that authentic to myself.  Not just them.




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