57 Minutes

That is all the time left in 2016. That is all the time ED has left to live. Today he dies. Today is the very last time I will allow him to destroy me. I don’t have a choice.

Wait. I do have a choice.

I can allow him to live. But if ED lives, I will die.

So my choice is to live.

We always have a choice. And I choose life.

I know this won’t be as simple as turning off a light switch, but I have been working towards this moment. I have been anticipating 2017 not having ED present. So as the final minutes of the year come to an end, I reflect on what he has done to me. And what the future ahead looks like.  I will work my ass off every single day to fight my demons.

I WILL NOT ALLOW ED TO BE PRESENT IN 2017. Looking at my diary all the way back to 1994 and seeing him alive and in my life is heartbreaking. He has been around too long. I no longer want him in my life.

So ED, you fucking piece of shit, mother fucker asshole, dipstick, son of a bitch – you are no longer welcome. Pack your bags and get the fuck out.

As the song goes, Auld Lange Sye – for (the sake of) old times: You’ve been around long enough.  Lisa is taking her life back.

It has not been a pleasure knowing  you, but it’s a relief to say goodbye.

 

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