Look how far I have come – not that I have failed

I was watching a VLOG of this girl who has been struggling with an Eating Disorder for three years.  She is young, vulnerable and so honest.  It makes me sad to see her go through this, but she uses social media as an outlet because she feels that she can’t talk to anyone else, so this seems to be helpful for her.

She said something that really resonated with me.

“I wish I would recognize how far I have come, not how much I have failed.”

The thing about recovery is that it is not a straight line.  It is not a perfect thing.  Nothing in life is – so why should this be any different.  We need to appreciate the trying, the effort, the determination and the struggles that go along with recovery.  Instead of dwelling on a set-back, an error, a mistake – I need to congratulate myself for where I am and not where I was.

I am further ahead than I was a year ago, 6 months ago, even a month ago.  My mind frame is different and every single day I work harder and harder to achieve my goals.  That is an accomplishment.  That is success.

I am not hiding in bathrooms, sneaking around lying taking laxatives.  I am being open, honest and trying to get better.  That is huge.  That is enormous.  I am not allowing ED to control me and manipulate my life anymore.  Those are things I should acknowledge, recognize and be proud of.

When you start looking at things in a different light – it makes you more positive and more proud of yourself.

I am proud of myself.

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