Meh. I’m okay.

I went out yesterday with a good friend of mine.  We haven’t seen each other in a while so we treated ourselves to a morning of manicures and pedicures.  I always enjoy our time together so I was really looking forward to it.

The funny thing is that we went to High School together but were never friends.  We were friendly – just didn’t hang out in the same group.  Later in life you find out how much you have in common with people and how fantastic they are and wish you knew all of this earlier so your friendships could’ve began earlier.  Nonetheless, we are making up for lost time now.  I have found this to be true with so many of you.

She is always genuinely concerned for my well being, checks in often and comments on my blog.

“How are you REALLY doing?”

“I’m okay.  I’m not worse.  I’m making better choices, I’m thinking things through and slowly making progress.”

She didn’t buy it.  She even said that I didn’t sound convincing.

That’s what I love about her.  That’s what I love about people.  Friends that don’t buy my bullshit and call me out on it.  Those that know me well, know me well.

I told her what I was saying is the truth.  The reason for the lack of enthusiasm is because I just want it to be done, over and for me to be recovered.  I get it.  It’s a slllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww process and it will take time to get where I need to be, but I wish I could just snap my fingers and be at the finish line.  There is so much I want to do with my recovery that I’m ready to be there.  But, I must be patient.  Rome wasn’t built in a day and my Eating Disorder has taken about 20 years to manipulate my life, so it will take time to get better.  But I’m trying, I’m working, I’m determined and those are all of the things I need to have in order to be successful.

I explained all of this and she was very happy and understood where I was coming from.

I know people don’t like asking or talking about it with me and that’s totally fine.  I completely understand.  But I know that each and every one of you reading this could be counted on whenever I wanted to talk, a shoulder to cry on or just to sit with me if I needed company.  I am a very lucky person to have the friends and family I do.  If I don’t say it enough,

“Thank you to all of you for your support and friendship.  I know that my challenges have been difficult to watch and live with, but I promise to reserve a seat for each and every one of you at my first speaking engagement when I stand up in front of a sold out crowd talking about how I recovered from an Eating Disorder.”

xo

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