Addiction

It’s hard to believe someone could be addicted to laxatives. It’s no different then a drug addict.

If you don’t understand mental illness, which most people don’t, the thought of having an addiction to laxatives seems ridiculous.

I lived it and think it’s ridiculous.

But addiction is an addiction. There are so many varieties to this disease. Alcohol. Gambling. Shopping. Smoking. And I could just as easily look at a gambler and say, “What’s wrong with you?  Get out of the casino and save your money.”

Again, if you don’t live it – you can’t understand it.

I will never be able to explain my disorder to those closest to me. They will never, ever be able to understand it – just as I won’t understand it from their point of view.

What we can agree on is that addiction comes in many shapes and forms. They suck. They are about control, relief and an escape from reality.

I never looked at it as an addiction. I thought it was a habit. A pattern. An illness. A disease. A disorder.

Over the years I had to accept that it wasn’t a way of life. It was bigger than that.

Coming to terms and accepting it makes it real.

Attempting recovery means you have accepted it as a disease and no longer want to ‘live’ that way of life. The rate you recover is not an indicator of how badly you want to be well. It took me 20+ years to get here, so it will take some time to get me back.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s