The emails I have received praising my courage and honesty has been overwhelming. In a good way.
It gives me the courage and motivation to be someone that can tell her recovery story. Hopefully soon.
What’s sad is the amount of people suffering. In silence. With nobody to talk to. Afraid to let others know.
Why? Because it’s embarrassing.
People of all ages have contacted me. Teenagers. Middle aged and seniors. ED does nor discriminate. He will latch on to anyone he can, for as long as he possibly can.
Making the switch from I HAVE to get better to I WANT to get better is the key. I am well aware that a body can only be tortured for so long (even though it shocks me that mine keeps going), you have to want it. As with anything in life – you and only you can make the change.
What helps me from have to – to want to is knowing this can’t be my story. This can’t be my life and what I am remembered for. Right now I am Lisa Sheinfeld the girl with an eating disorder. I am much more than that. I deserve more than that.
A ‘new’ friend texted me last night about a shitty week she had:
I worked all week and that puts me in a bad pattern. Not working tomorrow. Can put myself back into a situation I approve of.
I told her, and I am guilty of it to – we fall into a routine. Everyone does. She relates work to her bad place. Mine was nighttime.
We can put ourselves in any situation. It’s up to us to allow the situation to be one we approve of.