Yes, of course they do.
Maybe judge is a harsh word. Watch? Observe? Take notice of?
All of the above really.
When I eat, and YES I do eat, I know people are wondering….. How much will she eat? Will she keep it in her body?
I would love to wear a t shirt that reads:
YES, I AM EATING. NO I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE LAXATIVES.
But….I know these questions exist because I created them. This illness has made people love and worry about me. I think we can all agree that I am not shy or an introvert about my Eating Disorder. I am an open book. Don’t be afraid to ask me questions. I’ll be honest about everything.
Let me share a memory….to let you know how awful this disease is.
When I had found my “newest”habit of vomiting, I remember one time hiding in the washroom to do what I had to do.
Cooper came to the door. After knocking for a good solid minute, I came out and asked him what was wrong.
“Mommy, are you throwing up?”
I didn’t even know what to say. How do you answer your sweet innocent 5 year old?
“No sweetie, mommy was watching the funniest video. A boy was eating so many hot dogs in a contest that he threw up.” Cooper laughed and went downstairs.
I sat on my bed and cried.
Fast forward about a week. Yet again, I was in the washroom when I heard a knock at the door.
“Mommy, can I come watch that video of the boy eating hot dogs?”
That was the day I stopped vomiting. That was when I decided I could no longer engage in a behaviour that made my son ask me those questions.