Do people judge? And Hot Dog Eating Contests

Yes, of course they do.

Maybe judge is a harsh word.  Watch?  Observe?  Take notice of?

All of the above really.

When I eat, and YES I do eat, I know people are wondering…..  How much will she eat?  Will she keep it in her body?

I would love to wear a t shirt that reads:

YES, I AM EATING.  NO I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE LAXATIVES.

But….I know these questions exist because I created them.  This illness has made people love and worry about me.  I think we can all agree that I am not shy or an introvert about my Eating Disorder.  I am an open book.  Don’t be afraid to ask me questions.  I’ll be honest about everything.

Let me share a memory….to let you know how awful this disease is.

When I had found my “newest”habit of vomiting, I remember one time hiding in the washroom to do what I had to do.

Cooper came to the door.  After knocking for a good solid minute, I came out and asked him what was wrong.

“Mommy, are you throwing up?”

I didn’t even know what to say.  How do you answer your sweet innocent 5 year old?

“No sweetie, mommy was watching the funniest video.  A boy was eating so many hot dogs in a contest that he threw up.”  Cooper laughed and went downstairs.

I sat on my bed and cried.

Fast forward about a week.  Yet again, I was in the washroom when I heard a knock at the door.

“Mommy, can I come watch that video of the boy eating hot dogs?”

That was the day I stopped vomiting.  That was when I decided I could no longer engage in a behaviour that made my son ask me those questions.

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