A Memory

I try and remind myself of bad experiences I have had during my Eating Disorder. It solidifies why recovery is necessary and most importantly – worth it.

I was in the washroom. For a change. The kids continued to knock at the door asking when I would be done. I wanted to be done that minute, but I was physically unable to move. I told them a few more minutes. But I knew it would be longer.

My youngest son loves writing notes and slipping them under the door. It would typically say I Love Mom or I Love Dad.

Today’s note read:

I love Mom. Feel better and come out to play with me.

I was so angry with myself. All he wanted was me. To play with him.

I forced myself out of the washroom and went to his room. I lay on the bed in agony but didn’t let him know that. So we played Lego. Because he deserved that.

And you know what?  So did I!

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