I know what I’m living for.
But, I can’t help but feel like I’m living to fight this demon. Every day, every minute is me against ED. A constant battle. A constant struggle. It’s non-stop.
I realize this is a good thing. That I don’t give in to temptation. That I am fighting. But it is emotionally exhausting.
I look forward to the day when I can live just to live. And enjoy every single minute without letting ED try and manipulate my happiness. He makes it hard work. Work I know will be worth it.
Simone always tells me to trust my body. And I do. I try. I try every single minute of every single day.
I give myself cudos for fighting the fight. It’s much easier to give up and trust me, sometimes I want to. But I know what my life will look like if I don’t fight.
It will be a funeral.
So I have to and I must continue to live for my kids, my family, my friends and most importantly live for me.
If I don’t fight I loose everything.