I love this. So true.
My head is contantly working. Always in motion. Deciding. Arguing. Fighting. Strategizing. Calculating. Reasoning. Defending. Organizing. Planning.
It’s exhausting. The hardest part of an eating disorder is fighting the eating disorder. It has such tremendous control over your way of thinking.
Take the opposite as an example.
You are on a diet. You know you shouldn’t have dessert. But as you stare at the delicious piece of peanut butter cheesecake, you reason with yourself that tomorrow will be better and you vow to stick to the diet.
An eating disorder is the same logic.
Evey day you have to make decisions. Right from wrong. Good and bad. In an eating disorder world, it is extremely difficult because you are fighting something that is crucial to survival.
And food consumes us. All of us.
Today, when you sit down for a meal or to have a snack imagine a constant battle with your internal demons about something that should just come naturally. Eating.
Instead of enjoying it and moving on, an eating disorder tries to convince you not to.
Recovery is recognizing that voice.
I hear it loud and clear. That’s a good thing.