Yes, I do go to FitBox.
Twice, maybe three times a week.
I don’t do it to burn calories. I don’t do it to work off my dinner.
I do it because I genuinely enjoy it and it makes me feel strong. It makes me feel healthy.
It’s funny because when people find out that I go, I have to defend my decision.
I understand the concern, but don’t be. I will always eat a little bit more on those days, and I am not the person in the class who is working “over the top hard”. The adrenaline helps motivate me to take care of my body.
When I go to the class, which is surrounded with mirrors I do see what you see.
I live in my body so I don’t necessarily get a real sense of what you are looking at every single day. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look at myself and think I’m fat. But when you live in your skin, it’s hard to be objective. However, while being in a class with other people of healthy weights, I do see what you see. I’m not ignorant nor blind. So I get it. I just need to hate it and not want to look like that. By working out I am giving myself the motivation to work at achieving a healthy body and most importantly a healthy mind.
Last night Bee took me out for my birthday. I showed her a picture from 2014. I told her that I didn’t hate how I looked – and I was probably 20lbs heavier. But I said, I don’t see a huge difference. She pointed out the change in my arms. I looked, compared and did see what she was looking at.
Is that a good thing? I don’t mind how I looked but yet didn’t see a difference until it was pointed out.
Definitely something to discuss with Simone this week.