Working Out

Yes, I do go to FitBox.

Twice, maybe three times a week.

I don’t do it to burn calories.  I don’t do it to work off my dinner.

I do it because I genuinely enjoy it and it makes me feel strong.  It makes me feel healthy.

It’s funny because when people find out that I go, I have to defend my decision.

I understand the concern, but don’t be.  I will always eat a little bit more on those days, and I am not the person in the class who is working “over the top hard”.  The adrenaline helps motivate me to take care of my body.

When I go to the class, which is surrounded with mirrors I do see what you see.

I live in my body so I don’t necessarily get a real sense of what you are looking at every single day.  Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look at myself and think I’m fat.  But when you live in your skin, it’s hard to be objective.  However, while being in a class with other people of healthy weights, I do see what you see.  I’m not ignorant nor blind.  So I get it.  I just need to hate it and not want to look like that.  By working out I am giving myself the motivation to work at achieving a healthy body and most importantly a healthy mind.

Last night Bee took me out for my birthday.  I showed her a picture from 2014.  I told her that I didn’t hate how I looked – and I was probably 20lbs heavier.  But I said, I don’t see a huge difference.  She pointed out the change in my arms.  I looked, compared and did see what she was looking at.

Is that a good thing?  I don’t mind how I looked but yet didn’t see a difference until it was pointed out.

Definitely something to discuss with Simone this week.





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