The part of me that was worried about the article, was the Eating Disorder. It convinced me that it would be a bad thing. I would be labelled the girl with an Eating Disorder and I would have to maintain that image. That’s the illness speaking.
The “smart” me was excited about the article. My neighbor said something interesting. She said, when you stop smoking you are suppose to tell everyone so that you are accountable. And it’s the same with this. I am now accountable. To everyone. But most importantly to me. I owe it to show the world (yes, yes – myself, I come first) that I can do this. I can beat it.
I have the biggest cheering section for me. Everyone is rooting for me.
I have to stay strong and win this battle.
I told my mom tonight that if I cave and give in, I know I can lie and get away with it. But, I will know and will be deceiving myself. I also know that if I have given myself this deadline and don’t follow through – the vicious cycle will never, ever end.