Temptation

Today was the beginning of my new life.  Exciting.

Scary.

The hardest time for me has always been the evening.  That is when temptation is at it’s strongest.  A strategy I have been putting into practice is to give myself a five minute delay.  When I have a craving, I tell myself to wait five minutes.  If I can wait it out, I tell myself to wait 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes, I wait 15 minutes.  And so on.  This will hopefully allow the temptation to pass.  This has worked really well for me.

Another way I am trying to deal with recovery is by not putting so much pressure on myself.  I keep saying how hard recovery is.  And it is, don’t get me wrong!!!  Much harder than being sick.  But we all know that being sick isn’t the right decision.  I have to tell myself that it’s not so hard.  It’s easy.  It’s living.

The deceiving, cheating and lying on a cold public washroom floor with stomach cramps worse than labour is not easy.  Being in a grocery store and becoming so incredibly nauseous that I have to leave all of my food in the cart and race home is not easy.  Going to the drug store and buying boxes of laxatives with the hopes that I won’t bump into anyone I know is not easy.  None of this is easy.  So how can I possibly think that recovery is hard compared to the hell I have been putting myself through.  The constant reminder that recovery is actually the easy route is something I must constantly remind myself of.

 

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