My teeth are falling out

I remember an occasion when I took so many laxatives that I was beyond nauseous.  I always felt like shit, but sometimes it was unbearable, like this time.  I wasn’t sure if I should force myself to vomit to get rid of the awful feeling or let it pass.

The decision was made for me.

As I lay in bed trying to fight off the incredible pain I knew that I was about to throw up.

I ran to the washroom and did just that.  As I was throwing up I felt something unusual passing through my mouth.  OH MY GD!  It was pieces of my teeth.  I couldn’t believe what was happening.  I continued to throw up numerous times (not by choice) and was so anxious to make this stop.

When I did, I was petrified to look in the toilet.

There was some relief when I saw what I was throwing up.  It was the laxatives.  It was a new brand and they were quite small, so I didn’t put two and two together.  As much as I should’ve been happy that it wasn’t my teeth, I was disgusted.  Look at yourself.  Look at what you are doing.  Look at what you thought was happening.  ED you piece of shit bastard.  Fuck off.  You are changing my body.  And not for the better.  You are ruining me. And here I am, with my head in the toilet thinking that my teeth are falling out.  This is not where I should be.  This is not where I want to be.

That never happened again.


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