I received three questions. Here are my answers.
What is your biggest regret with having an eating disorder? Time. You can never get time back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. And I have lost a lot of time. Moments, memories, activities, evenings, morning, days, nights – these are all made up from time. ED has robbed me of time. The time wasted spent worrying, acting and suffering I will not get back. But, I can move forward and make use out of the time I have. I certainly would never say that something good came from this disease, but what it taught me is how precious time is. How important it is to enjoy what you have. Once it passes you can look back and remember but you cannot do it over. And that sucks.
If you could go back to the first day you ever bought a package of laxatives and tell yourself something, what would it be? This won’t be a one time thing. You think it’s harmless. It will be poisonous to your body and your mind. This will be permanent. This will change you and your life. Put the box down, get the jube jubes and get the fuck out of the drug store.
What would your advice be to young girls who are struggling with the onset of an eating disorder or body image issues? Right now in my life, I have everything I need. Health (I hope) and happiness. That’s all that matters. I know it’s hard to see that, but something I read made perfect sense. People try to have the biggest houses, the fanciest cars, the nicest clothes and the perfect bodies. When we die, we all have the same size tombstone. So who cares? When I die (in a million years down the road), what people will say about me is that I was loyal, funny, creative, devoted, outgoing, loving, and all the things you would want to be remembered for. Is someone going to say I was skinny? No. Because it just doesn’t matter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZkb7xJUmOQ.
Be remembered for what does matter.