Lucky 13

Yesterday Rob and I celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary (yeah!)

We had a great night.

We went for foot massages at 6:30pm and then went out for dinner.  Yep, dinner.  Out of my comfort zone (funny, comfort zone is the name of the foot place).   Out of the house.  A place that didn’t allow me to prepare my own food and know exactly what I was eating.  Liberating.  And normal.

I was not letting ED ruin my Anniversary.

And you know what?  It was okay.  I even had an appetizer.  I ate like a normal human.  Kind of nice, actually.

My experience  when I go out for dinner is somewhat different than most.

I look around and see everyone enjoying their meal.  Engaged in conversation and not giving the food much thought – other than pleasure.  I envy those people.  I envy Rob.  I see how much he enjoyed his dinner and his thoughts were based on nothing more than being in the moment.  In my defence I did enjoy the conversation and was present.  But the Eating Disorder part of me often tries to take control.  Luckily I didn’t let him ruin my night.  Actually I shouldn’t say luckily, I should say Good for Me.  I didn’t allow him to.   It wasn’t luck.  It’s the hard work I’m putting into kiboshing this horrible, awful disease.

Here’s to many more years.

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