Yesterday Rob and I celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary (yeah!)
We had a great night.
We went for foot massages at 6:30pm and then went out for dinner. Yep, dinner. Out of my comfort zone (funny, comfort zone is the name of the foot place). Out of the house. A place that didn’t allow me to prepare my own food and know exactly what I was eating. Liberating. And normal.
I was not letting ED ruin my Anniversary.
And you know what? It was okay. I even had an appetizer. I ate like a normal human. Kind of nice, actually.
My experience when I go out for dinner is somewhat different than most.
I look around and see everyone enjoying their meal. Engaged in conversation and not giving the food much thought – other than pleasure. I envy those people. I envy Rob. I see how much he enjoyed his dinner and his thoughts were based on nothing more than being in the moment. In my defence I did enjoy the conversation and was present. But the Eating Disorder part of me often tries to take control. Luckily I didn’t let him ruin my night. Actually I shouldn’t say luckily, I should say Good for Me. I didn’t allow him to. It wasn’t luck. It’s the hard work I’m putting into kiboshing this horrible, awful disease.
Here’s to many more years.