Last night I put Cooper to bed around 8pm.
I went into my room and turned on the TV. A few minutes later, he came into my room.
“Cooper, it’s time for bed. It’s late. You have to go to sleep.”
He hung his head down and started to walk out of my room. I noticed he was holding a piece of paper. He obviously came in to give me or show me something.
“Coop, what is that in you hand?”
He climbed on my bed and gave me a huge white piece of paper. In small writing, in the top left corner he had written: I LOVE MOM
Think about that for a minute. He went to bed. He got up because he was thinking that he loved me. He took out a piece of paper and a pencil and took the time to write me that note. He was probably so excited to show it to me. Thank gdness I called him back.
I told him how much I loved the note, how proud I was of him and that I love him sooooo much. He went to bed happy and I went to bed elated.
I know I don’t write about ED in every entry and this blog really is about my struggle with an Eating Disorder. But, my life consists of a lot more than a disease. It consists of nights where my 5 year old son writes me a letter to tell me that he loves me. Writing about these moments and not ED is another step in recovery. I am not allowing him to occupy my time, my days, my moments in life. I am allowing my kids to be the top priority in my life.
So, these small gestures that my kids likely will never remember, are making the biggest impact on my life and my road to recovery. They remind me every single day of how special I am to them. And that is something that nothing else can replace.