Mirror Mirror

I know I am NOT fat.  I know I AM underweight.

As much as I have an eating disorder, I do NOT have the classic Body Dimorphic Image Disorder: a psychological disorder in which a person becomes obsessed with imaginary defects in their appearance.  (http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd)

I do not pull at my skin and wish it wasn’t there.

People often ask me if I think I am fat.  My answer is always no.  I know that.

What I find incredibly interesting and almost shocking is when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  As with everyone, when you live with yourself every day you become use to yourself and accustomed to how you look and feel in your skin.  But many times when I see my reflection in the mirror, I often have to do a double take.  “That’s me?”

It’s at that point that I really get to see what everyone else sees.  The truth.  What they know and what I know.  There is no mystery here.  I am not trying to fool anyone, especially myself.  But when you step out of your body and look at it from a different way, you see what is there.

I am glad that I know that truth.  And how I look.  Because I simply cannot fight that battle too.

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