I met with the specialist yesterday. Very nice, very insightful.
What she said is nothing I haven’t heard before and she recognized that.
She even said, you are so smart, so in tune with everything. You just need to flip the switch. You are close and once you do that everything will fall into place. It is an addiction. Yes, you need to sort through the mental part of the disorder so you don’t relapse and you deal with things more effectively, but right now it’s an addiction and the cycle needs to end.
My hardest times are the nights. It’s quiet. Things have slowed down.
A very good friend (JK) was offering me terrific suggestions this morning and I followed through with calling CCAC that offers in home nursing to those in my situation.
Many of the professionals have said (Mina – even Christine who I met yesterday) that these program wait times are unrealistic. Christine even said that many of the inpatient programs are unrealistic. So if you can’t find a fit outside of the home, bring the programs to your home.
I emailed Mina and asked her for her for a referral letter and hopefully my nurse can start sooner rather than later. What is my hope with them?
I’m not sure. But I know I’m heading down the right path. I just need as much guidance as I can get.
This morning Rob complimented my sweater. He said “Guys, doesn’t mom look pretty?” Adam ran over to give me a hug. He told me that I was so warm and so pretty.
And this is exactly why I’m heading down that path. I never want to look back at ED’s evil, ugly face. I will do WHATEVER it takes.