I’ve said from the beginning that I don’t want my old life back. My old life is poison. Not all of it, but a large part of it. The best part is my family and friends. That is what kept me sane and happy. That part I will keep. The Eating Disorder is the part that needs to go. So, as I try to reinvent myself and create a new life I have to make changes. Baby steps and huge leaps.
The baby steps are what will help me recover. The huge leaps are what will help me be successful in my recovery.
As I look at everything, I am starting to determine what stays, what goes, what remains the same and what needs to change. It seems simple enough. Like going through your closet and getting rid of clothes or hanging on to those stone wash jeans that you pray make a comeback. But on the contrary. These are the most difficult decisions I will have to make. I am basically trying to make a new life for me with the hopes of being stronger and healthier both in body and mind. To rid myself of the awful demons that have taken 20 years of my life and almost killed me. A 5’5 female should never weigh 85lbs. That is what a 14 year old girl should weigh.
So, as I recover and learn to deal with triggers, I also get to become the new and improved Lisa. While that’s a scary thought, it is also exciting. A new life with parts of my old life that I treasure.