Looking Back

I was looking at the journal I have been keeping and came across this entry:

Today is July 6, 2014.  I slipped.  Damn.  After 10 years, I slipped.  Not once…a few times.  I may slip again.  I am worried that I will meet up with ED again on a permanent basis.  I don’t want to and hopefully that will be enough.

Today is January 5th, 2015.  ED became a regular in my life again.  Awful, just awful.  The last time I took was on December 31, 2014.  It was the worst I have ever reacted.  I was severly ill for 48 hours.  I actually considered going to the hospital because I was so sick.  I was in the washroom dozens of times and even 24 hours after I took, I was throwing up because I was still nauseous.  I missed out two full days with my family.


Sad.  Just so sad.

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