Ice Cream, You Scream

Day 9.

I am told to reward myself when I don’t engage in eating disorder behaviour.

So, today I picked up my kids from school and took them for ice cream and to the park.

When they hugged me and said I’m the best mom it was without a doubt the best reward I could’ve ever asked for.

Makes the rewards of taking laxatives nill in comparison.

What feels weird is my free time. The time I spent and wasted on taking laxatives. Planning, taking, being sick, recovering. Lying. It’s a void. A void I have to fill.

I realized tonight I was filling it. With quality time at the park. Getting ice cream. This is how people live. This is how I should be living.

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