Happy one week!
I did it.
In therapy today, Mina talked about rewards. She asked me about the “rewards” I received after taking laxatives.
I was lighter, emptier, thinner. Those were the rewards.
She asked me if I was rewarding myself for NOT taking laxatives.
She said a week is huge. A major milestone.
I need to reward myself each day that I don’t torture my body.
I explained how every day feels like an eternity as I try to battle this disease. I was tired of being sick. Mina said that I was tired of being a perfectionist and trying to be everything to everyone and that is why I became sick. And on the other end of the spectrum, here I am now tired of being sick. We will work on better coping techniques when I get “tired”. Clearly the ones I have chosen aren’t doing me any good.