I’m glad nobody asked me on Saturday when I last took.
My answer would have been “two days ago”. I couldn’t go a full week.
But, when I did take on Wednesday (around 1pm), something weird happened. I didn’t get sick, I didn’t get nauseous. Nothing. Zilch. That freaked me out. What was going on?
I woke up Thursday morning at 6am and that’s when everything started. I spent Thursday and Friday feeling the wonderful benefits of laxative abuse. For whatever reason (which has never happened before), it took 17 hours for the effects to kick in. And they did. On and off for the next 48 hours.
But, the good news is that tomorrow you can ask me when I last took.
My answer will be last Wednesday.
A week. I did it.
Today a friend asked me how I was doing. I said, slow. It is so slow. This process is going to take a long time. Possibly and likely it will be a struggle forever. But for now, I’m taking teeny, tiny baby steps.
Her answer was enlightening. She said, “At least they are steps”. Thanks EP.
She’s right. I am trying. Like Mina said, I’m doing the best I can.
It is basically like my life is moving in slow motion now. But, that’s a good thing. With an eating disorder, everything happens in fast motion and your life passes you by. I don’t want to miss playing ball with my kids, helping them with homework, cuddling, going for a walk, watching them ride their bikes or anything else.
And, as a wise man once said:
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.